stumbling thru all this static. .

x__ecstasy @ 2004-08-17T15:23:00

2004-08-17T19:24:50Z

i just wanted to post one thing haha.

ZENA- i forgot what day you said you'd leave for college. . but i think it's sometime pretty soon? k i just wanted to say HAVE FUN! thanks for commenting on like, every one of my entries & discussing them yankees with me :] muahah. good luck in college. DO YOU HAVE A LAPTOP? i hope you'll still update & shit. lmfao anway, byee!

farewell, lj.

2004-08-04T18:59:44Z

that's right. i'm leaving. ;[

i shall miss all the people who always commented on my entries. whitney, zena, anna x2, alisha, & all of you.

http://www.greatestjournal.com/~__xbr0ken

it's cuter. lmfao. i'm still gonna come on here & comment on YOUR entries though. love youuu guyyss.

code orange. .

2004-08-01T20:06:02Z

;\ northern jersey [where i live], washington DC, and new york is under code orange. . cause they're afraid we're gonna get attacked right now. . & governor mcgreevy is on the breaking news & he's saying for the credential buildings or something to be aware & under 'full review' or something. . eh i don't know. but my dad works there. do the terrorists want to find my dad or something?

they nearly killed him in 9/11. he was on the 74th floor of tower 1. thank god he got out in time. . but he was only one block away from when the building completely just.. collapsed. i was so scared.

what are the chances we'll get attacked again? idk. but they got me all worried.

finding that you&you alone. .

2004-07-31T02:31:42Z

ahh, nothing better than a good cry. i just finished watching A Walk to remember which is like the best movie everr. i cry so hard everytime i see it, lmfao. &thats the ONLY movie that i cry about. dfjdk, i so want to love someone like that. . when this person would stand by me through anything + i'd do anything for them and just spending time with them makes me so happy and yeah. i wanna find that. but i guess i'll have to wait & find out. switchfoot is AMAZING. &shane west is hawtt. and i love mandy moore. it's an amazing movie.

-wipes tears- okayy i'm ready. i had Wendy's for lunch and it was really good. i forgot to eat dinner. . oops. ok, now i'm eating cereal. i added more friends to my friends section thingy. um, bronwyn, karly, danni, katie. i kind of like this no-one-from-school-gets-to-be-on-my-friends-section-on-lj. lmfao.

i've been listening to the ashlee simpson cd a lot & now i'm almost tired of it. i need some good emo music. and i have to get the walk to remember soundtrack. . i keep forgetting. .

spaghetti.

2004-07-29T23:46:19Z

isn't that spelled weird? yeah. i just ate it for dinner - the first time in like, freaking so long. did any of you ever try a pistachio muffin? it's green, but it's so good. it's soft & buttery & eee ok its really good. but it's really fattening so i can't eat it that often. hah yeah. everything here is low fat. i can't decide if i'm 80 pounds because i eat only low-fats, or because my mother thinks i'm fat so shes making me eat everything low fat. lmfaoo. just kidding. ;D i was born like this. haha.

SAT class, surprisingly, was not too bad. even though i'm like the only non-korean in that class. all the korean girls were making fun of me though. ok well, idk if they were making fun. but yeah i told christina i was 1/5 spanish & , cause i am, & shes all like "oh that's why you have big eyes even though youre mostly asian & blah blah. You have that eye fold/crease thing above your eye. The one that all americans have." i was like lmfao, ohh. and then all the korean girls were like "yeah. none of us have that, and when we go back to korea we're gonna get plastic surgery and get those creases." and what they do is they like. . scrape the fat off your eye or something & fold it. something painful like that. i was really surprised and grossed out. . and i was like. . keep your eyes the way they are. . lol. and jayme was like "shut up, you have bigger eyes, you can't talk." so yeah. i guess i don't understand but i HATE when ANYTHING happens to my eyes or my mouth or something. i get freaked out.

so i'm waiting outside after for like 15 minutes talking to emily. and my mother still doesn't show up and so i start walking home. . which is kind of far. i had pretty much no clue where i was going and i had to go up this huge hill and i was wearing flip flops lmfao. that sucked. when i was almost home, my mom beeps the car and so yeah, she forgot to pick me up. lol. that's my mother for youu ;D

anyway i'm gonna start a countdown. . lmfao.

2 days till megan comes home.
8 days till josh comes home & work is over.
4 more SAT classes left.
9 days till regionals. i guess that's worth talking about.
23 days till williamsport .
39 days till school starts. . beeep.

i love lj cuts. & i've always wanted to have friend cuts, but that'd be mean. [not that i've ever cared about being mean] but i don't comment a whole lot. so yeah. i can't penalize people for that. it's weird i'm not a jesse fan anymore. i don't get all SQUEAL! when he comes on tv anymore. i don't plan on going to his m&g's anymore, or his concerts. i need a new obsession.

agh dkfjdk kristen, your greatestjournal is all walker icons. you're so weird. & you stole those pics from mee you loser. . lol.

ooh everyone, please visit www.feel-the-heat.net & comment on the tagboard. the password is usa123. yep.

lol, my avatar is mitchell. i dont know what came over me, but aw i miss him even if he tried to bully meee. haha. he looks cute in that picture.

i hate rainy days.

2004-07-28T20:06:31Z

ugh, they suck don't they? ooh yes. i came back from the dentist & like, my jaw "jumps" or something so i have to keep going back. &they put these 2 things in my mouth and then they both left the room and i was sitting there with these 2 freaking things in my throat. Finally after like 10 minutes they come back. i was like ;O take these fucking things out of meee. haha, yeah that's my story.

i'm talking to abby & sheryl right now. um, yeah. abby just showed me a picture of this half indian half british guy from when she went to england or something. he has a big nose, but she thinks he's hot. whatever floats her boat. lmfao. <3

the hilton sisters one was like the first one i ever made. it sucks haha.

credit to anna for the first 2 pics. . she went to williamsport the other day & so yeah.

growing up is scary isn't it? blah. i'm scared to be a sophomore. lmfao, i'm such a baby. but yeah. i'm scared of filling out college applications &getting rejected, being in a totally serious relationship and then ending it, moving out, losing friends, getting a job, starting my own family. holy crap. getting mamograms. lmfao.

i know it's a long time from now but sometimes i wish i was 5 again. . yeah.

more graphics coming soon. graphics of llws, ashlee simpson, &probably some other stuff.

neww.

2004-07-27T22:40:42Z

new lj colors. idk wether i like it or not. it took me like an hour to pick these colors haha. & i still dont know if like the font <georgia> cause its like.. argh. comment & suggest changes if you want?

FIRSTS
First job: um, the recky's camp thing.
First kiss: jorgie lmfao, in canada.
First screen name: lilym211
First self purchased CD: hmm i'm not sure. probably spice girls though.
First funeral: like my 3rd cousin.
First piercing/tattoo: my ears pierced when i was 6 months old..
First credit card: haha i don't have one.
First true love: andy . . hahahah.
First enemy: lauren kim, last year. that bitch.
First big trip: i dont' remember.
First concert: christina aguilera when iw as like 10.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: james taylor or somethingg ;]

LASTS
Last big car ride: 2 years ago, canada [10 hours. i consider that big.]
Last kiss: um. . 2 years ago.
Last library book checked out: 'the notebook.'
Last movie seen: Cinderella Story
Last beverage drank: water. or as i say it, wooder.
Last food consumed: boca burger, haha.
Last phone call: miiaaa
Last CD played: Ashlee Simpson!
Last annoyance: @ dan rudiak for being an annoying pain the ass today. stupid 3 year old.
Last ice cream eaten: low fat chocolate mouse popsicle stick yesterday
Last time Yelled at: um. . just now. lmfao.
Last shirt worn: my le chataeu shirt.
Last website visited: jesse boardiiess.

09 things you look forward to:
1) the llws
2) yankees games
3) going to the mall
4) listening to my cd's
5) megan's phone call
6) christmas!
7) august 21
8) twirling around. lmfao.
9) my 16th birthday.

8 things you wear:
1) tank tops
2) underwearrr
3) miniskirts
4) capris
5) sofee shorts
6) flip flops
7) socks
8) sandals. .

07 things that annoy you:
1) LLWS TEENIES.
2) girls that think they're all that.
3) guys that have no confidence in themselves
4) kasey caban
5) my teeth cause theyre getting crooked i think. .
6) jesse mccartney
7) michael jackson

ABOUT YOURSELF
-name: Melanie
-gender: girlll
-height: 5'0 flat.
-haircolor: dark brown.
-eyecolor: brownn
-location: jeerseyyy.
-fears: bugs, murderers, abductions, getting fat.

HAVE YOU EVER
-peed your pants: haha YEAAA.
-cheated on someone: lmfao, no.
-fallen off the bed: yep.
-fallen for a relative: no. but aaron carter has ;] lmfaoo.
-had plastic surgery: no, not yet.
-failed a grade: haha no, ive failed tests & shit before though.
-had your heart broken: yep!
-done something you regret: oh yess.

CURRENTLY
-wearing: a housedress lmfao.
-listenin to: undiscovered by ashlee simpson
-chewin: bazooka gum.
-feeling: annoyed.
-readin: this survey.
-located: the computer room
-chattin with: josh
-watchin: the computer screeen. <3 & the tv.

DO YOU
-brush your teeth: yes. you should too.
-like anybody: MMHMMM.
-have any piercings: i did but they closed up. ARGH.
-drive: nope but this year i think i will. . well early in 2005.
-believe in santa claus: i used to. i'm sad that i dont now.
-ever get off the computer: haha yeah but its hard.

FRIENDS
-who is your best: megan, jess, shamy
-who is the loudest: jessica, cicily, sussman,
-who is the shyest: elizabeth? no. idk.
-who is the hottest: jesse
-who is the cutest: i dont know. jacob? cause hes small.
-who laughs the most: mia haha.
-who have you known the longest: liz, josh, yoshimi.
-who have you known the shortest: bethany.
-do you hang out with a certain type: nooo
-do you hang out with the opposite sex: yes maamm.
-do you trust your friends: nope.
-are you a good friend: yeah. i'm fairly loyal.
-can you keep a secret: thats like the one thing i'm good at.

LAST PERSON YOU...
-hugged: i cant remember.
-gave e-props: i don't have a xanga anymore.
-IMed: i guess josh.
-talked to on the phone: um, melissa.
-yelled at: dan.
-fell in love with: jesse but that wasn't really love cause we never talked about our 'relationship.' lmfao.
-tripped: hahahha yoshimi.

PERSONAL
-what do you want to be when you grow up : i hate when people ask this. I DONT KNOW. i dont even know what i'm going to eat for breakfast tomorrow.
-what is your most embarrassing story: i can't remember. but ive had some real embarrassing shit happen to mee.
-do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: not right now.
-if you had an extra set of eyes, where would you put them? yeahh like anna said, on the back of my head/
-what do you usually think about before going to bed: if i'll wake up in the morning.

FAVORITE
-movie: bring it on, a walk to remember, mean girls, shawshank redemption, im sure there's more.
-group of the moment: ashlee simpson & her band. haha.
-store: HOLLISTER <3 a&f, le chateau, delias, khaki's
-relative: vanessa, derick, marlon.
-vacation spot: williamsport, pa.
-ice cream flavor: vanillaaa.
-fruit: i like all diff kinds of fruits. lmfao.
-candy: starbursts, twix, gummybears.
-holiday: CHRISTMASSSS <3
-day of the week: friday or saturday.
-color: PURPLE. of course.
-magazine: cosmo girl.

DO YOU
-like giving hugs: yes
-like walking in the rain: no haha
yup-sleep with or without clothes on: WITH clothes. i dont like guys that sleep in the nude.
-prefer black or blue pens: blue pens.
-dress up on halloween: no haha.
-have a job: yes. even though i dont need one. it makes me feel important. lmfao.
-like to travel: not really.
-sleep on your side, tummy, or back: my siidee & sometimes my back.
-want to marry: yes. i do.
-have a goldfish: haha no.
-have stuffed animals: lmfao yeah i guess.

ARE YOU
-single or taken: single as of now.
simple or complicated: very complicated.
-law or anarchy: law. . anarchy [wtf does that mean?]
-mtv or bet: mtv!!
-7th heaven or dawsons creek: 7th heaven, of COURSE.
-sugar or salt: salt ;]
-silver or gold: silverrr.
-chocolate or flowerz: CHOCOLATE hahaah. yum.
-color or black-white photos: color!
-m&ms or skittles: skittles of course.
-rap or rock: roccckkk.
-stay late or sleep in: sleep late. i dont like sleeping in.
-tv or radio: i love my television -hugs it- its my best friend.
-hot or cold: COLD.
-taller members of the opposite sex or shorter: my size or a little taller.
-sun or moon: i like the moon.
-diamond or ruby: diamonds are my best friends.
-left or right: righty
-10 acquaintances or one best friend: 10 acquantance AND one best friend. am i weird? lmfao.
-kids or no kids: kiddos.
-cat or dog: dog
-half empty or half full: half empty i guess.
-mustard or ketchup: Ketchup. mustard is disgusting.
-newspaper or magazine: magazine
-spring or fall: FALLL. even though thats when school starts.
-give or receive: receive... haha i'm a selfish little bitch.
-rain or snow: SNOW SNOW SNOW.
-a year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship: lifetime of friendship ;] hot sex is nothing.
-happy or sad: happyy, but most of the time im sad.
-wonder or amazement: amazment. . walker. lmfao.
-mcdonalds or burger king: burger king. i hate mcdonalds.
-mexican or italian food: italiann <3 i hate mexican food.
-lights on or off: offfff pleasee.
-duct tape or scotch tape: scotch tape.
-candy or soda: candy.
-a house in da woods or city: in the CITYYY.
-Converse or DC: converse.

« westside of town.

2004-07-26T17:36:08Z

lmfao, shamy's moving to the westside ghetto of town near me ;] haha. i find it hilarious that the people that live on the so-called "ghetto" part of our town has parents that still each make 100,000 a year like mine - because the people on the east hill's parents make like. . 700,000 a year lmfao. & it's just weird that some people in other parts of the state/country's parents dont even make like. . 50,000 a year. oh well. the westside rocks anyway. so yeah she's gonna move like 2 blocks away from me - - YAYY.

i'm still a little sick. i talked to julie last night & oh my god it was the funniest convo. lmfao. she went into worcester yesterday and saw andy and gordie and keith and all the other kids. i was like YOURE SO FUCKING LUCKY, I MISSED THEM SO MUCH.

& the next thing i knew, the teeniebopper-ness in me came out. i HATE when that part of me comes out. but i started going like "omgomg, i miss andy" haha. it was hilarious & shes like calm the fuckk downn biotchh. she's going today so i told her to take mother --effing picturess. & i told her gordie was ugly. k. megan's supposed to call me from the um, beach today. i think it's the beach - i'm not sure.

i feel so lazy & i don't want to do anythingg.

alex rodriguez, my hero.

2004-07-24T22:24:34Z

i'd just like to thank alex rodriguez [a.rod] for teaching me every curse in the book. gracias, i love you hombre <33 lmfao.

this yankees/redsox game is SO MUCH FUN. so like, some red sox pitcher hits alex rodriguez on the back with the ball, & a.rod starts cursing [even more than last night] & he's all FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER BRING IT lmfao lmfao. & then jason varitek starts yelling at alex for some reason, then he pushes him & grabs him by the butt and they start fighting . . & pretty soon well, you know what happens. the dugouts empty and the yankees are fighting the red sox. david ortiz & some other worthless red sox player started beating up on yankees pitcher TANYON STURTZE. and um, pretty soon it was like 3 against 1. david ortiz was getting ready to MASSIVELY PUNCH tanyon, and then like a red sox coach stopped him . . but he was getting ready to murder him, um, so tanyon started bleeding & shit.

it was gross. but it was a lot of fun. lmfao. my throat hurts like a biatch, and my nose is still stuffy.

school starts september 7. . a little too soon, if you ask me. lmfao. i'm so NOT looking forward to school - projects, oral reports, tests, quizzes, teachers, annoying people. i thank god that kasey caban graduated because i can't stand to see him again. . my sister told me she almost got into a car accident with him on like, tuesday. he was driving retarded.

i just weighed myself. 80 pounds. i'm sick.

sick.

2004-07-24T00:28:41Z

sore throat & stuffy nose and stuff. eww. + i'm like pissed too cause the espy rerun was supposed to be on & it WASN'T! mucho sorryness megan <33 speaking of megan, she's going on vacay from the 25th to the 31st. HAVE FUN MEGAN! i shall miss youu.

i'm talking to carissa right now. it was raining SO hard today, & it still is. it's like, flooding. that's what Dan Rudiak's mother said anyways. dfkjd that little child of the corn. he's so annoying. lmfao, i just found out that Halle Berry's stunt double in Catwoman is a MAN! lmfao lmfao.

aren't tampons scary? they look small but they're like, rawr. that was pretty random. sorry for any boys reading this. oh well, snoidfg sucks for youu. megan made me this cute andy signature, i'm gonna usee ittt on fth. it's so freaking cute. -breathes-

http://img8.photobucket.com/albums/v26/JmaCKEd112903/melanieeeandy.png

can you see that? idk, i forgot how to make it under a cut. & i'm too lazy to look it up. lala.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL RADCLIFFE! he turns 15 today ;D except he looks much older.

i'm wearing my derek jeter jersey and watching the yankees game vs the redsox. it's hawtt.

x__ecstasy @ 2004-07-22T15:45:00

2004-07-22T19:51:34Z

-is too lazy to click EDIT & type more in the other entry-

i like making new entries. anyway i just slept for like, an hour. i guess i feel better but my mother says my head's a little warm, lmfao. she's like I'LL WARM YOU VEGETARIAN PIZZA! & i was like ok. cause i didn't really eat lunch. . or breakfast. .

um. . lamar won the sectionals yesterday. i was so excited until everyone & their mothers decided to think stevie michalek was the hottest thing on earth & to catch the stevie "fever." weird how everyone copies each other. . or copies megan. . and i was like wow. . you people have brains of your own . . get your own little leaguer. . well, except melissa of course. i swear it's like we had 5 megans in that chatroom instead of just 5 different people. . don't you hate that? just cause someone likes something, everyone else follows it.

only like, a month left of summerr. well more than that, but i'm being dramatic. ahh snkfld september is coming -cries-

tequila sucks.

2004-07-22T17:08:42Z

stupid me for thinking i like the smell of tequila. . & so i sat there smelling it for like 10 freaking minutes, lmfao. and now i feel so sick & dizzy & shit. ew. stupid melanie. and i have to go to fcking SAT class in an hour. . but i don't want to go. . i hope i'll get out of it. cause we're gonna have to write an essay on like . . something. .

the tequila was so expensive too, but probably not as much since it was made in mexico. & yeah that was pretty random but it ended up smelling nasty.

stacey talked about dudee-mont jesse today. she was like, "my boyfriend's little brother [meaning jesse] is almost 17 & i still yell at him whenever he drinks alcohol." rotfl. <3 it was funny. i was like yeah. . that sounds like jesse. .whenever someone mentions him i get all like ee, ooh, ahh. rotfl you know? but when i'm just by myself i don't really care one way or another. . . because whatever happens, happens.

this day hasn't really gotten any better than from yesterday, but whatever. i'll deal somehow.

by the way

2004-07-22T00:05:02Z

i just changed my avatar to walker. because i miss the little dude. cross out the little . . he's so big now, like twice of me. no need to comment on this one, just if you want to comment on the avatar.

i'm just what my smiley says. i hate crying. . blah dkfjdk.

bad mood .

2004-07-21T22:06:23Z

lmfao okay, i am in like the worst mood ever. kind of. i went to like 4 different stores, & their ashlee simpson cd's were all sold out. it was so annoying. i was like, ew. i went to coconuts & this woman in front of me in line was like I GOT THE LAST ASHLEE SIMPSON CD! i was like ok . . -walks out- rotfl. plus on top of that i had to go to the dentist & somethings wrong with my freaking like , bite. it's too hot. i want to move to boston.

i was reading People magazine & they had this article about teen girls pressured to be skinny + everything. and i was like -breathes- it's so true. why, generally, are only skinny, big-boobed blonde girls considered beautiful? it bothers me a lot . . & like i'll never be blonde . . or big-boobed [i dont want to.] and so all that's left for me is to be skinny. pretty much my whole life i've been very thin, but lately idk . . i'm gaining weight, i think. i havent weighed myself since august03, and then i was 79 pounds. and i've grown a lot and i think i've been eating a lot. . it just bothers me. i dont know why i care to be accepted so much . . i've never been an outcast or anything. and i'm always the one to say "be yourself. doesn't matter what other people think." but lately i've just been like i cant eat this, i'll gain weight. it's so retarded and i wish i could stop. i'm gonna go eat a boca burger now. i've only eaten one before, it's like this veggie burger. . dkfjd made of SOY crap or something. lmfao.

i think i'll be okay in like an hour but for now i'm just . . sighh. all my friends left me for the summer to go to camp or something. i was supposed to go to canada but instead i think my cousin might come next week. i don't even know who my true friends are anymore cause i havent talked to anyone in like 129083 days. lmfaoo.

okkk.

quick.

2004-07-20T17:05:12Z

just updating really quickly before i go to that stupid SAT writing class, eww sdnfkdjfkd. ughh. lmfao.

i added more friends. . courtney & tifferzz & mia . .and um, i think one more. but idk.

i need to comment more on my friend's lj s now. i've been such a bad friend ;[

i'll update later tonight. ew i have a dentist appointment tomorrow. cause like i think something's wrong with my bite or something. . dkfjdk EWW. is my life sucking right now or whatt?

i whine a lot.

x__ecstasy @ 2004-07-19T23:21:00

2004-07-20T03:23:54Z

um, i'm almost going to sleep soon. i've been listening to the ashlee simpson cd like all day . . well not really. . i was only on for the early afternoon.

um anyway, i really dont like the girls that comment on the fth tagboard. i don't really care who knows it, i don't really care that i dont "know" them . . i don't like them. they think they know everything & that annoys me & i don't really care if they see it.

besides for that i'm fine. i have freaking like SAT class tomorrow, eww. thank god christina's in it, & andre. that russian ukranian guy. i love his accent. rotfl.

WHOAA.

2004-07-18T23:23:25Z

whoa hi lj people =D i'm backk. my comps been broken since like, june 5. i know right. so i didnt die, much to your dismays i bet . . lmfao. i just got a new computer & it rocks my box and its so hot. lmfao.

so what happened the whole month of june. . finals finals FINALS! pretty much. i cant people freshman year is over. it went so fucking fast. .like, i cant believe its over. lmfao. it had its good times & bad times. . it's scary to think i'm growing up. and i have all these stupid questions in my mind, like. .

will i grow?
will i still have this high voice? lmfao.
will i have good teachers?
will i ever like a guy for more than 2 months.
how many friends will i lose. .

etc etc. i'm over both jesse's, lmfaoo. the non famous one & the famous one. cause idk they got boring. jesse mccartney is all weird & stoner & dresses bad. the nonfamous one. . well. i hardly ever get to see him & i dont think we have that much in common. . so yeah. whateverr.

now its july. next month i'm going to llws for a weekend - yep. a day more than last year, lmfao. i'm meeting up with megan my best friend again. it's gonna be crazy cause like, duh, we're both freaking retards. & we're gonna meet jimmy & his brother. . hahaha. oh wow. lmfao. i love our convos lately cause we're all excited for it.

on friday i saw a cinderella story & it was so bad, blah. jess & i thought we saw cicily + kevin but we weren't sure so we didnt say hi. . yeah. i think derrick might come next week cause he's going to graduate school in new york. lol.

i'll say more later ;D

x__ecstasy @ 2004-06-02T17:34:00

2004-06-02T21:49:54Z

hello hello. back from my first day of school in june. yawn. it didn't suck as bad as the other days .. i guess thats a good thing. i think its about to rain .. rotfl, yesterday there was a tornado warning in bergenfield. idk if there was actually a tornado .. but yeah. wouldnt that be kind of cool? i think so.

ahh, i'm addicted to this song now. parsons sent it to meee. its so good. but yeah its pretty sad if you dont have anyone to share it with. anyways summerland yesterday was pretty amazing .. seeing jesse for that long lifted my mood ;D he plays such a bad drunk though . he ALWAYS plays a teenage alcoholic / pothead though. cause , duh, he is in real life . rotfl. he was making out with this really ugly girl.

my school picture came out blah. & i got a varsity award for cheerleading , heather gave it to me today. idk i havent talked to any of them in so long .. i just spent like 2 hours getting my binder organized for the notebook check tomorrow in phys sci [how dumb is that ?] & i still have tons of homework. sigh . ive become such a procrastinator latelyy. matt imed me yesterday & i hadnt talk to him for so long. havent talked to megan in a while either, or abby.

we have to dissect frogs tomorrow in bio .. hi ew. thats disgusting. &mr yealu said our geometry test tomorrow WOULD NOT BE EASY. which means its gonna be really hard. umm yeahh.

x__ecstasy @ 2004-06-01T00:14:00

2004-06-01T04:46:03Z

its kinda late but yeah who gives a fuck. im still up, realiziing i should have started my homework & studied for ALL my finals the past 3 days and i havent. tomorrow im gonna have to workworkwork & probably cry while i work cause i wont wanna do it.

this week might suck. i really hope we dont have a notebook check in phys sci cause i didnt bring my binder home & its a COMPLETE MESS. i've never been so scared for a week to come.

sigh. i'm lonely .. &not the kind of lonely you can 'cure' with like , a boyfriend or some best friends or chocolate. im not sure what kind it is .. but it`s awful. im glad i talked to marlen today cause she cheered me up.

eee, i love the little league thread on jmac. melissa & rynnie & marlen & whit + whoever talks in it rock. yeah um anyway . im talking to jess right now. & doing my earthworm lab ;D

um yeahh i'm listening to pat mcgee band. dont they rock? yeah. they do. a nice llws fan IMed me today & said they were amazingly excited for the llws .. well urmph yeah i would be too if i was staying for 5 frickin days. im only going 2 days at MOST .. if i even GO. if my grades arent good i'm probably not gonna go. & if i just dont feel like it .. yeah. but once i start talking to megan again i'll probably wanna go, lol.

i better goo do my lab now.

x__ecstasy @ 2004-05-30T12:26:00

2004-05-30T17:01:25Z

oklahoma was SO fucking AMAZING. haha it was incredible .. kim hirst is such a good singer, yayy kimmy! & chris was really good too. and of course YONI! haha. so yeah it was really good .. something really hilarious happened but i forgot. something with the guys a few rows behind us.

wow 2 days till summerland .. i cant wait to see jesse <3 rotfl. my only fear is that he gets TOO big & he forgets who his original fans are .. i bet a lot of girls are gonna start watching summerland & "love" jesse because hes hot. they wont even know he started out as a singer or anything .. ugh that just pisses me off.

you talk it, i live it -> you're jealous, admit it.

i love that quote. rotfl. it's from kristin's profile. yeahh. anyway.. my mother&dad went to see Day After Tomorrow so i have the house to myself. and gizmo. i cant decide what i wanna doo .. ew im SO mad. the sandlot was on last night & i missed it. ahh, i love benny. hotness. rotfl.

if youre reading this .. leave comments okay?

x__ecstasy @ 2004-05-29T17:28:00

2004-05-29T21:43:45Z

going to oklahoma in like, 2 hours. i heard its really good. haha parsons gets to strip people backstage & throw clothes on them ;D rofl.

i have so so much to do this weekend. mostly for finals .. blahh.

study for physical science final [multiple choice questions; packet]
do sections 17&18 for heat.
biology ..study like hell .. and digestive system.
spanish, study for [[verbs]] writing components test.
maybe study for the math test thursday..
english - rime of the ancient mariner..
history, do all 4 section reviews for japan.

argh i probably wont even end up doing half of these things. i'm slacking off so much this year, and if i do really poorly on the finals .. that'd suck so much. ive gone through so much shit this year & i really just wanna do well in one thing .. i could put all the things that are bothering me right now but i dont have enough space. & i dont feel like complaining right now.

plus i wanna go to llws for multiple days & if i do really well, i can. haha. i must seeee my meggie & walker again.. speaking of llws .. its very very soon. haha. i`m really excited .. ecstatic. its just weird - llws has gotten so many fans recently, and most of the fans only like them for their looks. blah this bothers me so much.. because the ones that live near williamsport get to go for like the full week & a half just to see how tight the guys look in their spandex. & theres so many girls on the jesse boards that love walker & want to sincerely rape him, just cause "he looks like my ex boyfriend!!!!"

seriously they need to get lives. idk, llws has always been something i loved since i was a little pre-teen. and same thing with megan, haha. i know we were one of the original fans .. and it feels weird that llws is getting so many new fans that are obsessing and actually going to llws .. competing with us to meet more players than us? whatever, its not about competition .. megan & i have met many, MANY little leaguers + know a lot of them .. and we love the way they play & act & stuff. we make fun of them .. and then when we do, the teenies get all pissy and mad. blah. i hope those teenies realize the players really hate them .. they need a smack of reality.

post more later.

x__ecstasy @ 2004-05-29T12:01:00

2004-05-29T16:08:10Z

getting ready to go to jessica's house [in my pajamas] mhm. we're gonna watch our videos that we took from nets games, little league, & other random stuff .. lmfao.

-cough cough- ew, i still have a bit of a cold. it shucks.

4 day weekend .. it's probably gonna go by really fast ..

x__ecstasy @ 2004-05-28T22:33:00

2004-05-29T03:15:26Z

read the survey. please.

<<< Computer Life & Interests>>>>

1. Do you like to read people's profile's often? - yeahh its fun.

2. Do you collect pictures of anything? - of me & my friends .. and me & my friends at llws .. then yes. lmfao.

3. Do you download music? - not anymore ;[

4. Do you save AIM conversations? - yes, sometimes. especially the megan ones .. and once from dario & a few gordie.. a few jessica's .. and one shamy conversation.

5. Do you have an anti-virus system installed into your computer? - yeah but it doesnt really work ..

6. Do you have games on your computer? (such as Starcraft, Diablo, Warcraft) - nooope.

<<>>

1. Do you like dogs? - i LOVE dogs. i have one. lmfao.

2. Do you like cats?- no..

3. What do you do as a hobby? i obsess. i bitch at people. i gossip. & watch tv & internet .. & i laugh a lot. & cry. & talk with people. & go to movies. & lil league.

4. Do you like the Matrix Trilogy?- nope.

5. Do you like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?- theyre okay.

<<>>

1. Movie? - bring it on, a walk to remember, mean girls, peter pan [[with jeremy sumpter]] empire records [WOO jess.] & lots of others.. oh and the sandlot..

2. Song? - hm. cold hard bitch, by jet.

3. tv Show? - american idol, real world, american juniors, everwood, summerland [well, it will be.] & others.

4. Book? - To kill a mockingbird .. & all the gossip girl books.. & the A List.

5. Pet? - dawggie. or a tiger ;]

6. Sport?- cheerleading of COURSE. and baseball. and basketball. and hell.. football.

7. Article of Clothing? my clothes from hollister. and my little league sweatshirt. [thx jessica]

8. Stuffed Animal? showwiee. a pink dog. he was my comfort dog, rofl.

<<>

1. Do you have a boyfriend? - not right now. i'm too picky. says jessica.

2. Do you have a girlfriend?- noo thanksss.

3. Do you wish you had a bf/gf? - well he has to be perfect or else PFFT.

4. Do you have a crush?- ha, yeah. im such a little 10 year old when it comes to crushes. I LIKE HIM! NO I LIKE .. HIM! THAT GUY! yeah.

5. Is someone crushing (liking) on you? - someone once told me .. in the world there are at least 2 people crushing on you. so i guess. but none that i know of .. partly..

6. Have you ever kissed anyone? - erm yeah, but it was a kiss wasted. i wish i had my first kiss with someone i actually liked.

7. Do you plan to anytime soon?- oh YEAH. its right here in my agenda see..

8. Do you like someone that already has a bf/gf?- Yes, sadly.

9. What is the most romantic thing you've ever done/given/said/for/to/to someone?- "you're really hot. k thanks."

<<>>

1. Witnessed a death? - gasp no.

2. Kissed someone?- wtf.

3. Bungee Jumped? - no & i dont think i ever will..

4. Sky Dived? - too scared

5. Rock climbed?- nope.

6. Hang glided? - hah no. i'm such a small town girl..

7. Snowboarded? - ONCE!

8. Skiied? - nope.

9. Stolen something? - yeahh ;[ & dose stealing hearts count? hah.

10. Murdered someone? - ahaha noo

11. Pulled an all-nighter? YES, yay ;] at least i can say yes to that.

12. Cried for 10 hours straight? - well no .. maybe 4 hours. hah.

13. Wished for something obviouly impossible? - all the time .. so many things ..

14. Smoked?- actually, nope.

15. Done drugs? - ecstasy, of course.

16. Eaten something absolutely disgusting? - eww, yeah.

17. Gone skinny dipping? - in my bathtub. haha.

18. Told a secret that you weren't supposed to? - ahh YES. but most of the time i keep the secret.

19. Been on tv/ radio? - uh, yeah.

<<>>

1. Do you think you sing well?– of course .. i'm the best singer at ths. of course.

2. Do you like how you write?- sometimes.

3. Do you have many secrets?- yeah .. a lot of secrets that actually no one knows.

4. Do you have mutiple personalities?- no but i know people that do.. i mean when theyre with some certain people they act different.. its SO annoying.

5. What's your biggest fear?- being alone .. getting fat .. death.. abduction..

6. What do you hate about yourself? – everything ..

7. What do you hate about your body? – EVERYTHING.
I

8. Do you have a journal/ diary that you actually use? no just this.

<<>>

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: no.

Who is your best friend?: hmm. megan, definitely. jess is a good friend & so is shamy .. & liz, & parsons .. & yoshimi .. & stuff.

Who's the one person that knows most about you?: megan, jessica, shamy.

What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: megan said something cool but i forgot.

Your favorite inside joke?: "WALKER SHUT UP" me & megan .. best day ever & ahh. we love you walker, though.

Thing you're picked on most about?: being too fickle & picky with who i like ..

Who's your longest known friend?: yoshimi & liz.. and josh..

Newest?: hmm .. Chris? and arielle ..

Shyest?: yoshimi & gillian & danni?

Funniest?: aahha megan. ariee. jessica.. shamy & her weird sense of humor .. sharon.. josh .. cant forget abbyy

Sweetest?: eliza, erin [rofl, yeah right.] & um .. chico. & gillian.

Closest?: uhh.. haha. who lives the closest? yoshimi & alexa

Weirdest?: omg, megan. & ariee..abby

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<that [...] chick.') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

read the survey. please.

<lj-cut><<< Computer Life & Interests>>>>

1. Do you like to read people's profile's often? - yeahh its fun.

2. Do you collect pictures of anything? - of me & my friends .. and me & my friends at llws .. then yes. lmfao.

3. Do you download music? - not anymore ;[

4. Do you save AIM conversations? - yes, sometimes. especially the megan ones .. and once from dario & a few gordie.. a few jessica's .. and one shamy conversation.

5. Do you have an anti-virus system installed into your computer? - yeah but it doesnt really work ..

6. Do you have games on your computer? (such as Starcraft, Diablo, Warcraft) - nooope.

<<>>

1. Do you like dogs? - i LOVE dogs. i have one. lmfao.

2. Do you like cats?- no..

3. What do you do as a hobby? i obsess. i bitch at people. i gossip. & watch tv & internet .. & i laugh a lot. & cry. & talk with people. & go to movies. & lil league.

4. Do you like the Matrix Trilogy?- nope.

5. Do you like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?- theyre okay.

<<>>

1. Movie? - bring it on, a walk to remember, mean girls, peter pan [[with jeremy sumpter]] empire records [WOO jess.] & lots of others.. oh and the sandlot..

2. Song? - hm. cold hard bitch, by jet.

3. tv Show? - american idol, real world, american juniors, everwood, summerland [well, it will be.] & others.

4. Book? - To kill a mockingbird .. & all the gossip girl books.. & the A List.

5. Pet? - dawggie. or a tiger ;]

6. Sport?- cheerleading of COURSE. and baseball. and basketball. and hell.. football.

7. Article of Clothing? my clothes from hollister. and my little league sweatshirt. [thx jessica]

8. Stuffed Animal? showwiee. a pink dog. he was my comfort dog, rofl.

<<<LIFE>>

1. Do you have a boyfriend? - not right now. i'm too picky. says jessica.

2. Do you have a girlfriend?- noo thanksss.

3. Do you wish you had a bf/gf? - well he has to be perfect or else PFFT.

4. Do you have a crush?- ha, yeah. im such a little 10 year old when it comes to crushes. I LIKE HIM! NO I LIKE .. HIM! THAT GUY! yeah.

5. Is someone crushing (liking) on you? - someone once told me .. in the world there are at least 2 people crushing on you. so i guess. but none that i know of .. partly..

6. Have you ever kissed anyone? - erm yeah, but it was a kiss wasted. i wish i had my first kiss with someone i actually liked.

7. Do you plan to anytime soon?- oh YEAH. its right here in my agenda see..

8. Do you like someone that already has a bf/gf?- Yes, sadly.

9. What is the most romantic thing you've ever done/given/said/for/to/to someone?- "you're really hot. k thanks."

<<>>

1. Witnessed a death? - gasp no.

2. Kissed someone?- wtf.

3. Bungee Jumped? - no & i dont think i ever will..

4. Sky Dived? - too scared

5. Rock climbed?- nope.

6. Hang glided? - hah no. i'm such a small town girl..

7. Snowboarded? - ONCE!

8. Skiied? - nope.

9. Stolen something? - yeahh ;[ & dose stealing hearts count? hah.

10. Murdered someone? - ahaha noo

11. Pulled an all-nighter? YES, yay ;] at least i can say yes to that.

12. Cried for 10 hours straight? - well no .. maybe 4 hours. hah.

13. Wished for something obviouly impossible? - all the time .. so many things ..

14. Smoked?- actually, nope.

15. Done drugs? - ecstasy, of course.

16. Eaten something absolutely disgusting? - eww, yeah.

17. Gone skinny dipping? - in my bathtub. haha.

18. Told a secret that you weren't supposed to? - ahh YES. but most of the time i keep the secret.

19. Been on tv/ radio? - uh, yeah.

<<>>

1. Do you think you sing well?– of course .. i'm the best singer at ths. of course.

2. Do you like how you write?- sometimes.

3. Do you have many secrets?- yeah .. a lot of secrets that actually no one knows.

4. Do you have mutiple personalities?- no but i know people that do.. i mean when theyre with some certain people they act different.. its SO annoying.

5. What's your biggest fear?- being alone .. getting fat .. death.. abduction..

6. What do you hate about yourself? – everything ..

7. What do you hate about your body? – EVERYTHING.
I

8. Do you have a journal/ diary that you actually use? no just this.

<<>>

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: no.

Who is your best friend?: hmm. megan, definitely. jess is a good friend & so is shamy .. & liz, & parsons .. & yoshimi .. & stuff.

Who's the one person that knows most about you?: megan, jessica, shamy.

What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: megan said something cool but i forgot.

Your favorite inside joke?: "WALKER SHUT UP" me & megan .. best day ever & ahh. we love you walker, though.

Thing you're picked on most about?: being too fickle & picky with who i like ..

Who's your longest known friend?: yoshimi & liz.. and josh..

Newest?: hmm .. Chris? and arielle ..

Shyest?: yoshimi & gillian & danni?

Funniest?: aahha megan. ariee. jessica.. shamy & her weird sense of humor .. sharon.. josh .. cant forget abbyy

Sweetest?: eliza, erin [rofl, yeah right.] & um .. chico. & gillian.

Closest?: uhh.. haha. who lives the closest? yoshimi & alexa

Weirdest?: omg, megan. & ariee..abby <that weird woostah chick.

Smartest?: ben is too smart. & gillian. henry`s realllllly smart in math.

Friends you miss being close to the most?: mor & some of the other cheerleaders..and PARSONS .. we hardly talk anymore and she understands me soo well. lmfao.

Last person you talked to online?: jessica, erin, kt, shamy.

Who do you talk to most online?: megan, kt, jessica.

Who are you on the phone with most? jessica & jayy

Who do you trust most?: i dont really trust anyone ..

Who listens to your problems?: i guess whoever wants to listen.

Who do you fight most with?: it used to be with jessica. hahah. now its like .. everyone. lotsa people hate me now, yep.

Who's the nicest?: eliza

Who's the most outgoing?: jessica, ariee, &um. manuel. yeah.

Who's the best singer?: i dont know. jen is really good. gillian is good too.

Who's on your shit-list?: the list increased tremendously this year. i'd like to give a big FUCK YOU to whoever tries to make me feel like crap.

Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: hmm.. ahah.

Who's your second family?: jessica & tenafly lil league .. LMFAO. megan.. and of course yoshimi's fam. plus luke & ashley..& the jmac boards..

Do you always feel understood?: nope. only by a few certain people.

Who's the loudest friend?: who knows. fuck it.

Do you trust others easily?: nope.

Who's house were you last at?: yoshimi's?

Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: can i say walker? just to piss the teenieboppers off. i wanna say santino too .. rofl. shamy will laugh at this. either laugh or bitch at me .. hm.

Do your friends know you?: i dont know if anyone really KNOWS me knows me .. but yeah they know me . haha.

Friend that lives farthest away: melissa, kimmy, soya, jaymi, jennabenna .. in california.</lj-cut>

x__ecstasy @ 2004-05-28T21:28:00

2004-05-29T01:37:29Z

i actually made this myself - i'm really proud. oh well at least i can do one thing.

i hate being depressed .. ew. idk theres so much i wanna let out & say on here but i dont know if i should cause i'd be hurting people feelings. lmfao. .. yeah like i've ever cared about that .. & vice versa..

i just cant wait till summer .. when all the finals pressure is OVER .. & all the drama will just go away for at least 2 months. & i cant wait till august .. till megan & walker & ehhh. they make me happy ;D haha.

first entry ..

2004-05-29T01:16:39Z

testing yall.